"I can tell you absolutely nothing about the Battle of the Five Armies other than it cost me some blood and some tears."
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
- smile and clap along
- have a sudden fit of coughing so you can awkwardly hide your face in your hands
- scream “dis my jAM” and jump on the table to break-dance
- sing amazing grace as loud as you possibly can until they stop singing to you
- go up to the closest person singing and hug them until they stop. however long it takes. keep holding them until they feel uncomfortable. bonus points for humming in their ear
- start a mosh pit
I decided to bleep out the lines on “I’m a Boss Ass Bitch” so I can listen to it properly in church.
IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW
I had high expectations and I was not let down